I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
