wanna go halves on a baby?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
