Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
