Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
