I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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