So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
