I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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