i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
