how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
