Have you finally orgasmed yet?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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