My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
