sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
