Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
