i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
