Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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