dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
