her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She needs sedatives and a leash
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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