i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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