I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
