If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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