the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
