Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize