It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
