i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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