My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
