Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
