i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize