Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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