Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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