I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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