she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
