Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
