my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
