Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize