Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
