i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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