do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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