We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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