Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
