We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
