That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
