im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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