You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
