Reggie can tackle my bush.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
