and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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