i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize