ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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