Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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