Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
