I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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