so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
