GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
