How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
