i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
