its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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