he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
