He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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