i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
