My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
