ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
