Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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