my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
